Skip to main content

Inspiration for this site

Personal

A series of rapid-fire personal experiences made me aware of how different women’s path of awakening is from that of men. These events all involved hearing several men talk about their journeys of awakening, and the big adventures they had in the outer world–climbing mountains, making and losing fortunes, fighting metaphoric dragons—what is generally known as the Hero’s Journey.

Frankly, I couldn’t relate to what they described, even though their stories were interesting. When I shared with several of these Heros my belief that women have a different way of awakening, they looked shocked. Seems this never occurred to them. They quickly became defensive and changed the subject.

         Afterwards, I reflected on my own journey of awakening and that of the multitudes of women clients I have supported on theirs. Wow. I realized our way IS very different. We take risky voyages into the Inner World. We confront feelings of shame and guilt; body memories of abuse; black holes caused by emotional and physical neglect; our sexuality; our loss of Self caused by pregnancy, birthing, and mothering; the broken mother-child attachment system; our codependent and counterdependent relationship behaviors; . . . and death and dying. We look at everything responsible for our loss of connection to the Divine:  

Then I began thinking about the many years I have been involved in the fields of personal and spiritual growth, and with academia and academic types. I realized two things. First, most of the experts giving advice on awakening are guys in 3-piece suits. They have packaged various kinds of what I consider “women’s wisdom” into their books and pricey programs, and taken on the role of “awakener gods and gurus.”

Second, most of the people who are walking the awakening path—those buying books and attending seminars and workshops—are women. What I see is that they are getting “women’s wisdom” channeled through the minds and voices of men. This really upset me.

         I knew that most all of these guy experts have wives and long-term women partners who were intimately involved in their professional work. Only a couple ever acknowledge their female partner’s inspirational contributions or role as muses. And I’ve only heard one of them publicly admit during his 2-day seminar that his work was primarily sourced by his deeply spiritual wife whose capacity as a healer far exceeded his. He went on so long about her that I wished she had come with him or even come without him.

         I had a series of emotional reactions to these insights, the first of which were feeling of nausea and anger at these predatory male “thieves.”  This quickly shifted to feelings of anger at their passive, invisible partners. Why do they hide? Why don’t they advocate for themselves and their creative contributions? I remembered the movie Big Eyes, about the painter Margaret Keane whose husband took credit for all her work. Stealing women’s creative work isn’t a new thing. Then I finally understood. Men steal women’s creative energy because 1) they don’t have this capacity themselves, and  2) women let them, for whatever reason.

         I reflected again on the responses I’d gotten during my recent conversations with the guys who discounted me and my message, and I had more insights. Women’s way of awakening is invisible to men. Then, women’s way of awakening is also invisible to women. Wow. No wonder women don’t advocate for themselves. Being a muse seems to fit into their relationships somewhere between cleaning and sex—it’s just part of “what women do.”

         It was an experience I had at a retreat  that really helped me get clear about this issue. Here I declared that I AM THE ONE (but not the only one) to acknowledge and validate women’s distinctive, instinctive, intuitive, heart-centered, and embodied way of awakening. If your soul resonates with what I share on this website, please become a member and join me in the awakening process.

spiritual

In this 1924 painting by Nicholas Roerich, Vedushchaya ‘She Who Leads’ or ‘The Female Leader,’ was inspired by his wife, Helena. The woman walking in front pauses and turns around to look at a man crawling behind her on all fours, who is grasping her skirt. She is looking back at him with care and concern to make sure he’s able to follow her as he struggles to keep up.

Roerich envisioned Woman leading Man into a more hopeful future for humanity. He expressed his vision of the important role women would play in shaping the future of humanity.

The process of creating this site

I have an internal “witness” part of me that observes everything I do. This part was very active as I was creating this site, and I want to share what I was aware of during an amazing process.

First, I noticed that the eyes watching me were inside me, rather than outside. I didn’t worry about who might be reading here, what they might think, or anticipate their feedback. Rather, I felt a flow of energy coming through me that I followed and trusted. Sometimes I felt like a “scribe,” listening carefully and transmitting information from some source beyond me.

Second, the process of creating this site was very much like a birth. I felt very much like a hugely pregnant woman in deep labor. The creative contractions came in waves, some very intense. I rested and meditated between them, going inside me for guidance about the next step. Always, I felt like I was walking on the edge of the unknown, waiting for inspiration and directions.

Third, I noticed that my brain is more balanced as I work. I first have feelings related to experiences that I want to convey, and then look for images that capture the main point I want to make. THEN I look for the words that describe, extend, and anchor the point. As I’ve spent more time recently as teacher and trainer, I’ve increased the use of imagery and decreased the use of words to convey the key points. I’ve learned that people are more likely to remember images and forget the words.

Fourth, I observed that my internal creative process paralleled the content I was writing about. So there was this great sense of my inner and out worlds being synchronized. This felt very natural and freeing. 

Fifth, the process of creating this site was very integrative. It energetically pulled together a lot of life experiences I’d stored away in photo albums, file folders, and boxes of keepsakes and souvenirs. I felt amazed at how these fragments of my life were not only connected, but showed meaningful patterns.

I realized, for example, that my many encounters with ancient stones and stone monuments had been a form of Earth Meditations. Each time I sat with these stones, I spontaneously fell into an altered state–a few times I left this world and traveled into some other reality. I understand now that it’s possible to have ecstatic PEAK and DEEP altered state experiences.

Sixth, I acknowledge how far I have come as a creative person. Everything I share here comes out of my intuition, and wisdom harvested from my many life experiences. Early in my professional life I felt obligated to write impersonally in the impersonal, analytical, passive tense voice expected of  academically trained people. Women’s Way of Awakening is alive in me!